冬

I never really know the feeling of being awkward in a family until today.
I never understood how they felt till today.

To be thrown into an awkward moment with friends or ppl you dunno is bad enough, but to be put into an edgy situation among family is ten times worse.

The feeling of having an invisible barrier in between, but only you and he/she realize while all the others are oblivious.

You know that something is going on and there are rumors spreading around, but they acted as if we dunno anything, as if all that was said didnt matter.

I realize i can't keep up with that . I dun wanna talk to them . They don't understand, seems like they'll never. they only see one side of the things .

or perhaps , they are right . i certainly hope not . =(

enough of rantings. blah . i'm seriously trying to forget everything .

Lord please help me.

update

hey all ..

PHG trip has finally come to an end. It was a really really wonderful trip to Langkawi where all of us get to chill out. I'll post about it later.

Besides that, final exam has also come to an end. I'm so glad everything is over and we get to enjoy our hols now !! hehe .

anyways . wanna busy myself with uploading the langkawi photos on fb. pls pop there and have a look. It's private except for PHG. but you can always ask for permission to view them. haha !

toodles.
nite

爱－ 第三篇

凯韵的幸福方程式＝ 雨 ＋ 雾 ＋ 思念 ＋ 李斯特的“爱之梦”

够简单吧？那是第一个步骤。

不过，如果数学题能够得到答案的话，我也应该会很开心了。＝）

如果在想起你的爱人时，没了那种脸烫烫，心暖暖的感觉， 他还是你的爱人吗？

这还叫爱吗？

问题是。。。 他来电时， 我还有那种感觉？

哈哈！真是荒谬！

有没有听见笑声背后的讽刺？

再笑多一次给你听。 哈哈！哈哈哈！

okay . I'd better stop blogging in mandarin. some of you are gonna give me a punch in my already-not-perfect face . lol. but sometimes i just cant help it ! maybe it's my sis' influence . O.O

toodles

爱 － 第二篇

其实，爱也不是那么绝望。

只要是找对的人，大概就没什么问题了吧？

谢谢你给了我自信。＝）

愛

忽然觉得， 爱很重要。

好久没用华语写字了，或说， 好久没写华语字了。

是的，爱， 很重要。

爱，会给人带来幸福，所以我要爱。
爱，会给人带来灵感，所以我要爱。
爱，就算给我带来心伤，我还是要爱。
如果我知道爱了，最终还是要分开，我依旧选择爱。

因为我觉得没爱过，比受伤害来得惨。

我羡慕受过伤的人，最起码，他们知道什么叫热恋。
我羡慕暗恋人的人，最起码，他们心里常有个人陪着他们。
我羡慕热恋中的人，他们总知道想起爱人时，脸红的感觉。

我似乎忘了怎么爱。
听起来不太像我，但我好像爱不了。

是身邊沒好人選，還是舊傷未復原？
哈哈
最後一句令我發笑。

沒談過戀愛，又怎會受傷害？

夠了，不寫了。

有時真的會希望，找個人徠愛。

好了，真的不說了。

In Love

with .. Beethoven's Virus .

I think this is my first time going crazy over Korean drama. =)

Graduated from a music college, Du Ru Mi's dream was to join an orchestra and perform. She soon formed an orchestra with people of all ages and backgrounds. This is where the conductor Kang Gun Woo (aka Kang Mae )comes in. Du Ru Mi soon bonded with the trumpeter, also named Kang Gun Woo and started to form a relationship with him. But at the same time, she finds herself falling in love with Kang Mae who's oh-so-mean to everybody and is 15 years older. Despite the fact, Du Ru Mi understands the conductor more than anybody else, soon they started a relationship. But good situation never last .. what could have happened? It's up to you to find out. =)

My sister bought this DVD a year back. I've watched snippets of it when my sis watched the show. But only recently that i find myself addicted to this series. and i like one of the song so much. I think two people who loves each other should be together. =) too bad the conductor is so stubborn. but somehow, it's because he loves but he thinks that he shouldn't be with her because of his age that makes it ironically beautiful . That's what makes watching it more interesting.

This song is really how the girl feels about the conductor. =)

somehow i want the girl to be with the conductor, although the younger guy is much cuter, although the conductor is 15 years older than her.

2 person who loves each other should be together.

here's the meaning of the song. ( the italic words are the phrases i like )

Even though it only hurts a little, tears form

My heart screams out

If i pass in front of you, beside you

You were my whole world

i want only you

But I can't breathe when I'm in front of you

As if you weren't my destiny

As if this were just a fleeting moment

Next to you, who let me go so easily

I go closer to you step by step

Although i cannot move at all

You can make me restless

You make me cry

Like a fool, Like a child

I want to just laugh it off instead

As i get closer to you

although i get more scared

I guess this love cannot be stopped

Why is it just my love that is late?

Just my love that is hard?

Although i;m right in front of you, just beside you

You were my whole world

I see only you

But when I'm in front of you

I always look away

As if you were my very last

As if this were my last moment

Next to you, who let me go so easily

I go closer to you step by step

Although i cannot move at all

You can make me restless

You make me cry

Like a fool, Like a child

I want to just laugh it off instead

As i get closer to you

although i get more scared

I guess this love cannot be stopped

Even from a far distance

I could look upon you

That's what you call love

If perhaps this yearning, this longing

When it sounds, when it touches

Please just act like you dont know

Although the closer i get to you

The more scared i get

This love cannot be stopped

Wednesday in English class.

Mr. Idros : Life is a sentence that ends with a full stop.
Nicholas : Eh, why can't end with an exclamation mark? L-O-L.
Kishern : What if it ends with a question mark ? hahhaa .

Kishern : Life is a phrase that ends with perfect cadence.
exclamation mark = interrupted cadence ?

lol . i dont think you'll understand the literal meaning . just .. try to understand the philosophy behind it. haha .

toodles

Friday Performance

Life without people like my high school mates are difficult. Because nowadays, nobody camwhores with me . more importantly, i couldnt just grab any photos from facebook or smwhere , hence the interest to blog decreased cos it's gonna be too wordy.

fortunately, ICOM still have sm people who takes pictures . lol .


My band



guitarist Ruici and Keyboardist aka my buddy-in-college Kelly


drummer , also my brother , Cliff.


One of the most happening bassist in ICOM , Daniel.


piano , kaiyun. =)





this is like .. the judgement or sth . lol . where our judges give their comments and opinions.

I wanna thank the band for helping me out and for all of your brilliant ideas . Really appreciate that . with lotsa love . =)

me wanna see video ... =P

I thank God i took pure science in high school .

I guess i would be scratching my head big time , doing music technology or acoustics if i didnt.

Just being glad . =)

I am so glad friday performance is finally over .
I am so glad that the term is coming to an end . Because then i would have time to laze around !! mwahhahaha !
I am also glad that we've finally decided on the date to langkawi .
I am glad that I am still breathing !!

i really wanna be lazy . hahah !

How could an angel break my heart?

First of all , i am not Emo k ? lol .
i just find it nice in an ironic way.

the best line ?
still " how could an angel break my heart ?"

random

She's really in the mood to blog. cos she's in her Malaysian Studies. LOL .

She's tired of bragging about how busy and how busy she is .
she's also bored of saying that she's freaked out because of yadda yadda yadda.
Her life needs to get a little exciting and it should start now !

Malaysian Studies is not that bad actually . Get to learn some of our country's stuff. I'm patriotic k ! *akhem*

blog later . needa copy questions that are coming out for exams ! hahahaha !

toodles . =)

Kai Yun is EMO !

i am emo ?
i can't join Kishern and the gang !
haihz .. i feel so bad cos they bought the tickets and all already . i mean , crapz la .

you guys should really come and get to know my parents . if not they are never gonna let me out with you guys. =(

damn emo la . KY emo = weird . aint ?

you see, it's not my fault i didn't update for so long .
and i warn you first, this post is a lot a lot a lot of ranting. so if you think you can't take it, then you better not start reading.

My schedule is like darn packed. Everything is back to back . It's freaking suffocating .

and every single thing i do now seems to take forever . haihz .

i need to practice.
I know where my weaknesses are . I just need the time to fix it . But no ! i dun have the time. An hour for lunch is so luxurious.
An hour for movie is too .

haihz . im in my practice room and i am just done with my PI .
i need to see Mr. Frank in 10 mins about the presentation I'm supposed to do which i havent completed.
Then i have class at 3. Then a meeting at 4.30. Then i need to go to low yat to get some of the gadgets which are freaking essential .
I was supposed to go for choir . but i took leave. Then i am gonna go home and continue doing the slides for presentation, i've got to start english assignment which the dateline is next wednesday . and damn the citation which i have no idea how to do.
I'm supposed to get started with my MIDI assignment, havent touch that at all too . Besides that , i have to start my friday performance arranging , and also i need to study music technology which is darn hard for me. and that i have to start our Traditional Harmony assignment too . because if i dun start now, i might not be able to finish.

Next week would be worse. 2 assignments dateline . 2 papers, 1 performance lab assesment, MJ presentation .... etc.

Actually , all of these shouldn't be a problem if i dun love sleeping so much . How i wish i can stay awake for two three days like what Kishern does. or at least sleep late and wake up early. it's damn annoying tahu. I cant finish my work cos i am lazy. and if my bro is here, he will say : very good. keep saying that . and your life would become what you say.

i need to start being positive again.
Kai Yun is lost !!

okay. enough of that. i should be doing my assignment instead of complaining here.
and to all high school juniors, if you are readign this , i wanna tell you sth : don't complain about your exam in high school. cos they are peanuts.

thanks for reading.
Love ya

My Current Obsession

people , i'm missing high school life again .

I really really really have to thank you guys for giving me such a wonderful time back then .

It was when i was reading Samuel's blog (about his toad dissecting session) that memories start to flow back.

Remember the times when we dissected the frog? Phun was like , chunted weihh .. haha . pro dy .

Remember those times when we get so excited about experiments or something we skipped our break ? or more like, started our break only when the others go back to class . haha .

haihz , high school cannot come back. We are different now too . Those were some really precious years . How i wish i can just stay there and go crazy with you people everyday .

Sze, miss going to the toilet with you . haha . Our super decorated toilet.

I can still hear how recess are always like, the sudden noise that floads out of every single classroom. It's the hum , that you'll only be able to tell when you close your eyes and listen. The sound of one fan still on in the classroom when the lights are off .
and when koku comes to an end, the sound of silence seeping into the school .

I can still smell our field, our skylight, our teacher's office, our classroom . Our guy's sweat after PJ !! haha . seriously , these things are like cemented in my mind.

I can still see all of us singing those patriotic songs , waving the flags , and cursing at the same time. I can still see all of you physically although it was in my memory .

I can still feel the touch of the lockers, cold and all . yet it contained so much .

I miss all of you !

and we all know that even if we have another gathering where everyone can make it , as in not only PHG, it will never be the same.

Some has lost their innocence, some has changed, some matured.
But i still have to thank you guys for giving me this part of my life . and although we will never be the same, i know we can always create new memories.

You know i mean it when i say i love you ! =)
I really do .

so, when's our next gathering? lol .

toodles

I miss being able to write and write and write and write .

I seem to have lost my inspiration . ugh .. damn the music .

I need to read more and I really really miss reading.

It seems like i can't even speak properly . =(



I'm starting my first Malaysian Studies in an hour's time . 6.00pm to 8.30pm. which college has such late classes ?

gotta zoom off for the orchestration worshop.

toodles.

Shangri-La

Here comes my real post after such a long long period of time. =)

It was a Thursday where we agreed to 'drop by' Shangri-La hotel to listen to the trio band, which consisted of my piano teacher aka Wee Lern, a bassist named Albert Yap( if not mistaken) , a drummer named Anwar (if not mistaken again) and also vocalist Maria Angiela. =) pheww ..

I went there with Kelly and we paid the stupid valet parking which cost us RM20. the reason we chose valet? cos the rate is the same if we look for our parking down there in their dark basement. hence, the smarter choice.

However, someone was smarter than us. see this guy in the pic below - david. He Parked his car at the caltex beside Shangri-La and paid only RM5!


i dont remember what was i laughing at.


smile kai yun, smile !

btw, the drinks there damn babi gila sial expensive, the cheapest i could find was RM12. O.O I wanna open F&B in hotel also !
i know , i know, you wanna say " hotel ma" right ?


Kai Yun and Kelly . with sugar !
i remember david asking the waitress : " is that lolipop ! " lol


david, kaiyun and kelly. Kelly said i look like barbie doll. Everybody, roll your eyes with me please. Thank you . =)


Kai Yun , Kelly , Kishern . Cheers to the power of K ! haha


these two here are so called my long lost brothers., Cliff Wong on the left and Simon Wong on the right. dun needa introduce the one in the middle i guess ? =)


the band .


Wee Lern was surprised i guess .

you see, the reason is very simple. I thought there were gonna be like the 6 of us ny, ended up with about double the number. We ourselves were surprised!
oh btw, Wee Lern is the one sitting on my left. =)


and finally , a group pic before we left of course.

I know you guys must be cursing me . cos everytime you open my page it would be that success thing. But forgive me dear, cos i have been busy and blogging does takes up time. =)

I'm having my hols now . Wee ! but then all my PHG and my high school friends just finished their hols . so it's like I am free but the rest of the world is busy . =(

however, I can't give up my hols just because the rest of the world is busy . So i have been spending time reading up on some novels that have been waiting for their master to touch them . =)

I just finished reading this book , about this guy who studies science, and a girl who studies arts. Sounds familiar ? somehow i can relate . haha ! ahem .. anyway , it gave me some inspiration .

I am at McD ( not the one beside my college) , and i parked my car at the other street, I think the time for the parking thing is almost up, but I cant possibly leave my laptop here and go over there right ? that's the thing with driving. Driving has its advantage, as well as its opposite.

I am gonna blog about a few things these few days if i have time, and include more pics. haha .
1) my first late night out with friends to Shangri-La. I only came home at 1sth 2 am . People who knows me knows why is this a miracle. :-P

2) my church camp in Cameron Highland. which i took quite some number of pics. Carol, you have quite some pics with me , remember our trip to SmokeHouse ? hehe.

3) my first Friday performance.which i can't bear to think of , but i have to blog about it. It was part of my life anyway.

4) whatever that comes to my mind next. =)

my bro is home ! wee!

Success

I FINALLY din go to McD for one day ...
that's a superb achievement you know because before this i would go there anyhow. whether i buy sth or not i will be there .

i dun think i'll be going tmr though . gonna go to Jaafar . although i wouldnt' say it's healthier , it's relatively cheaper ! lol. but right .. not full . lol

anyway .. i wont have time to go to McD cos tmr is gonna be a busy day .

and guess what ? I am gonna have my first sound check tmr . haha !

okay .. it sounds kinda like .. desperate . but hey .. give me a little motivation man .

and then again , i needa thanks Kishern and Joshua of course. I am gonna try very hard to play the song well . =)

Just in case i wouldnt be blogging this two days , I am going off to Cameron Highlands for our church's family camp. Looking forward to it .

and hopefully i can upload some pics on this blog which is getting too wordy .

oh oh ! one more thing .. i scored an A for my english . haha . A is above 90. =) it gave me motivation to do better the next time .

toodles for now . about to have class with my cousin .

have you guys ever felt like you've forgotten someone completely , then suddenly there's a surge in you that reminds you of that person again ?

how come it happens in me so often ? is it even relatively normal ?

it really takes time to forget sth ain't ?

grandma

oops .. i forgot to mention that my grandma has moved out .
yes , the lovely old lady you ppl always see when you come to my house .

although she's a bit long winded at times .. but she's really nice and caring . and I love her . sobs . i didn't realise that until she moved out. sad case huh ? and , she'll have to adapt to her new surrounding. i hope my other aunts know her habits . =) like ..
she doesnt use a bowl but instead a plate , she has to have a cup of water when she eats, she;s allergic to prawns , she must have a spoon with her chopsticks when she eats, she likes things sweet, she doesnt like ppl using her toothpaste ... and the list goes on and on ..

haihz.. luckily she moved not too far away .. i wish she would come back and stay for a day or two in the week.

i just miss her . =) the house is a little quiet without a little of nagging .

college

i bet you guys must be so bored with the kah hoe post by now . haha .
so i am gonna give you peeps sth to bore with for the next few weeks. LOL .

generally , my life in college is still okay .

well , let's see , i should start with my passed-up english assignment.
The title of the essay was " Guitar Gods of Rock Music". After that assignment, i think i have a relatively good idea about how Rock guitarists are like . At least my knowledge went up 10% from 0. haha

My friend gave me a bank of 5000 songs . i really really have to thank him. THanks Kishern, if you are reading this. haha . most of which are jazz i think .. i still havent got a chance to go through at least 50 songs ..

my performance studies class are kinda scary . or i should say pressured . the lecturer who is only 21 years old . has a very high expectation , or i should put it this way - strict . It is good , i know, but well , not easy la .

I realise my practice hours are soo little . i only practice like 3-4 hours max sometimes. which is so so bad .. i must at least have 5 hours per day in the coming days . that's my new goal . =) i bet some of you are gonna call me freak , but please, i am in a music college after all . and i SHOULD be practicing like 9 hours ? yea . that's what make ppl play well very fast.

FOOD ! the most disastrous thing so far . McD .. McD .. Jaafar ( the mamak outside my college if you guys didnt follow my previous post) .. McD lagi .. My pimples are popping out like popcorns ! except that it's red in colour . blah ..

i remember smwhere in my previous post that i said i wanna post about music technology. It's a really cool lesson , get to learn about all those IT stuff, which honestly , i suck big time in it. There was this funny part , about connectors .
Connectors are divided into 2 wide types, namely the female and male connectors . Female connectors generally have a hole and male connectors have this sharp pointy thing ...
so now you guys know how to differentiate. =)

Kah Hoe !
I still can;t believe i saw you at the bus stop !
lol . it was sooo random .
next time i'll give you a ride k ? hahah ..

Central Malaya Sacred Choir

I played for that choir last sunday in Wesley Methodist Church .

i played the organ . good experience .

and here are some pics .

kai yun with Mr & Mrs Dr Mui . we sang the song he composed . two whole books . he's really nice .

He;s from Hong Kong and he lives in Spore now .

Joyce, Mr & Mrs Dr Mui


spot me . i look weeirrd .. lol


Pianists and the Grand Piano . =)


Joyce and her mum


last but not least .. KYun and the piano .

remind me to blog about music technology . currently busy with my english assignment entitled " Guitar Gods of Rock Music " . driving me crazy .
I'm already not a guitarist , and rock music ?? O.O !
ciao

ICOM pics part 1

okay . here i am, finally getting a few pics onto my pathetic blog which i have abandoned for a week . 

and it's not in order k . i'll just explain whatever pics that comes . 

first of all .. here are some of the ppl that helped me pass my day in ICOM. 

Nicholas, Kelly and Kishern . 

i tell you, Nicholas looks like teo ! and , he acts a bit like teo also ! he has all those wacky ideas like .. he suggested what will happen if we order delivery of ice cream from McD . LOL . i mean , really teo-like aint ?

Kishern with his masterpiece . lol . 

that's traditional harmony homework . where we have to write some chords over and over and over again . i cant wait to just get to the assignment . im excited for that . 

this is the 4th floor corridor . yes it's very short . and it's outside our library . and on the right is our faculty's office.  

ensemble room. a room where they have one piano , one drum set , amps , one digital piano , and one keyboard synthesizer, if i am not mistaken . and a couple of chairs . 

this is the room where we get to practice our repertoires and stuff la . 

C1 as in classroom 1 . there are only 3 classroom kind of classroom in my college . lol . understand ? as in the one with many many seats . the ones with least instrument. haha . 

this is the biggest classroom in my college . and it is maybe about 3/4 of our sec classroom . it has a piano as you can see , but the projector system is good . and we have a HI-fi . 

and do you notice that we are STILL using blackboard ? LMAO . and we always run out of big pieces of chalk . i wonder when they'll change to whiteboard . 

that guy in the middle of the table is MR.Sze .. he is really good in explaining music technology . 

the small space we hang around before class starts . level 2 . see all those switch ? for our laptops. lol 

the toilet area . i almost went into the wrong one the first time . shh ... 

we go up and down by the elevator . it only stops on ground floor , 2nd , 4th and 5th . so 1st and 3rd floor we have to use the stairs . 

the GRAND entrance of ICOM . lol . it's kinda petit. 

once you enter you see this. it's not wide k . 

then you'll see this . 

college building . 6 floors. 

the high class cafeteria outside our coll. the food there .. so little . lol . you go there , either maggi or nasi lemak . -.- 

the road to ICOM . 

on the left of the pic is mcD . right side is car park . 

the car park i park my car at . 

McD from the side view of the lorong . 

and i heard that this lorong , you'll NEVER kena saman . 

Wisma ICOM and mamak . 

from my car . 

college life is really interesting . 

but i still have some other ppl on my heart .. all the time . =) 

and of course those who arent in this pic . haha 

I'm at McDonalds again . haha

McDonalds .

It's 2.32 pm and i am sitting in McD alone . McD again !

it's like the urmm .. 8th time im here in one week . yea .. about that .

i really really should stop eating McD .

or should i just say i should altogether cut down on my food .. cos

I AM GETTING FATTER !
i'm on tummy and fat arms alert . aiks .. thought i could go done a few kgs .. McD a few days .. Calories all went up . gahh !

anyway .. damn tired here .. my morning class ( 11am ) got cancelled ..

so i went to the practice room and played for 2 hours . thought i can wait for the next class , which was supposed to be at 3 .

but they cancelled THAT class also ! then why did i come to college today ?

especially my performance studies teacher .. until now also i have never met him . if next week the same thing happens , i am soo gonna file a report .

college pics coming soon . =) stay tuned .

...

Busy . Busy . Busy !

what have i been up to ?

lotsa house chores .. and college . -.-

i know i should be doing my studies .. but all i feel like now is sleeping .

though i HAVE to mention music technology is so so cool . hahaha ! although i dun really understand .. but , that's what makes it cool isn't it ?

wanna zzz . ciao

Class Schedule

I've taken my schedule today !

Starting Semester 2 ! without going through Sem 1 ! hahaha .

Good thing is i think i have my wednesdays and Fridays off , except for the fact that i have to go back on Friday for performance . EVERY friday .. i think . lol

Bad news is that on Monday , my class starts at 11am and it ends at bloody 8.30pm !
i only have 3 subjects that day .. but i have to stay for so long ?? and guess what , the last subject of the day .. is .. is .. MALAYSIAN STUDIES ! O.O x 10 . It starts at 6pm and ends at 8.30pm.

it has lots of one hour - 2 hours gaps.

do you guys have such crazy schedules ? i dun wanna skip class . but i am already thinking of skipping. lol . but then .. i am a good old school girl . what to do ? hahha .

my subjects . i bet it's 50 times more interesting than yours . haha ! okay .. dun punch me .

1) Contemporary Music Harmony .
2) Basic Ear Training
3) Music Technology and MIDI systems. I WANT !!!
4) performance Seminar . this is the friday performance.
5) Performance Studies
6) Traditional Harmony and Composition .
7)and the ever boring Malaysian Studies ?

okay .. so it might not be that interesting to you all ..
but for me , i am waiting to read every page of my textbook ! haha . lalala !

and all of us have our own personal ICOM email .. =) sounds like a company to me . does other colleges have this system also ?

and oh , the textbooks i use are direct from Berklee ! lalala ..

i've also met some other students .. seniors . ahem . there were Korean .. Iranians .. O.O

i am hyperventilating . lol

Maid-less

I am maid-less = I am the maid . lol

well .. my really nice kakak left last sat . sobs . now i have to do all the houseworks .

babi agent , when we signed one of their maids they promised .. PROMISED , that they'll have a temporary maid sent over if the supposed maid hasnt arrive .

although i 'curi tulang' occasionally , my whole body still aches from all the house chores .
from laundry , to sweeping and mopping .. and making the beds .. and cooking !

but .. house chores are kinda fun when you have all the time in the world to complete it .
not when you have to go to college .. then rush back to prepare lunch . then go out again . -.-

can die k ..

anyways .. here are some of my 'kakak's' picture before she left .

her name is Ingrit btw , although we all call her Rose . LOL .


kakak and room .


KLCC


ha ! caught sleeping ! . lol ..


i find him quite nice though ..


some soldier . he was holding a rifle . or a gun . aiks , sth that looks like M16 except it;s way shinier .


Palace Gate


Rose and flowers


at the airport while checking in ...


i went to get us Mary Brown .


i asked her to pose with the nugget ! haha .


mum and Rose


that's Rose and I . I'm tall isnt it ? and i've already bend my body . hahahhahaha !

anyway , she did a really good work here . she speaks cantonese , mandarin , hokkien , english . and she can even fix a microwave ! O.O

Thanks for Everything .. =)