confessions

there are some things in life ...
no matter how hard you try to hide , to disguise , it still comes .
because it's a process we have to face .

have you ever feel your heart going up and down ...
beating so hard that you think you'll spit it out any minute ?

have you tasted fear ?
the feeling of 'whaaamm ' , when everything in your mind goes blank ..
for that millisecond ..

and then you just wish you could pass out ..
you wish that you wouldn't be able to hear a single thing ..
wouldn't be able to see a speck of anything .
all you want .. is to block out every receptor in your body , every miserable thought and feeling you have .

because you fear so much ..
knowing that it will still come after you .
knowing that you can't hide from it .
even at the tiniest , darkest corner in this world ..

because at any moment ,
the phone would ring ..
and there goes your day ..
shrouded by clouds you couldn't find a way out ..

you want to scream ...
but .. it's of no use .
because it has found you .

how do you feel when you receive a msg ?
do you feel happy ? knowing that your beloved has just texted you.
do you feel outrageous ? realising that somebody has just screwed your best day .

it's a time bomb . which would explode any minute .
the fear that surge through each and every cell in your body without missing a shot .
and no brethren could take the anxiety away ..

you just have to be strong ..
bear with the fear, laments, shame that come after that ..